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  • Writer's picture Jana

A Big Accomplishment was Bittersweet. Coronavirus Update -- Day 49 and Counting..

There is exciting news to report. I finally re-started the photo project today! Do I hear a faint applause or is that just wishful thinking?

Honestly, I was motivated by shame, which is not a bad thing. How could I face writing yet another blog post, droning on about my lack of productivity? Facing my inertia and all those Costco boxes filled with photos turned out to be the lesser of two evils.  

So here's how I broke the slacker cycle. It started with a hard sell to Miles this morning. I told him how much fun it was going to be to sort through 2000 photos. As would anyone, he looked at me with a healthy dose of skepticism. However I didn't let that dissuade me. I kept up the hard sell on how much fun we would have together on this special Mommy/Boy project, until I wore him down and he gave in.

 He decided that opening the boxes the photos were sent it, from Costco, was of the most interest to him. I was good with that. I wasn't surprised because he's always on board with tasks that require using a sharp object, such as scissors or a knife. Although I didn't let him handle that part of the job (which didn't go over well with Edward Scissorhands,) I did delegate the rest to him. He opened each box and carefully handed me the countless envelopes, filled with photos. My job was simply to put those envelopes in piles. We made it through less than half the boxes, when he got bored and wanted nothing more to do with the project. Uh-oh, I thought.  If he's not on board with this, I may as well pack it up. At that very moment, Graham, my knight in shining armor, came galloping in on his white horse to save the day. He announced that he was done with his school work and would happily play with Miles. Glorious! So off they went to build a fort. 

Catherine wandered in around the same time and offered to help me. She'll help with almost any project just to have girl time with me. That is a precious commodity in this testosterone-filled house. I was so appreciative. 

Catherine and I began to open the envelopes to see what was inside. Unfortunately, Costco isn't thoughtful nor organized enough to send your photos in the order you uploaded them. So we were faced with sorting out 2000 photos, more or less. The first envelope we opened was May and June of 2017. When I started to look through the photos, I realized it was taken aback by what I saw and realized it could not have been a coincidence. Among this group, were photos of Miles' first day of preschool. All three of the kids had joined me in taking him that day. As soon as I started to look at them, I felt like I was going to cry. At that moment, I realized that Miles would probably never be returning to his beloved preschool, due to COVID 19. This was his last year, of the three years he was there. In the same batch, were photos of Catherine and Graham's graduation, from the very same preschool, St. Bernadine's. Another wave of sadness came over me as it sunk in that Miles would be the only one of my four children to be deprived of that sweet milestone - preschool graduation. Miles was to wear the same handsome outfit that Graham had worn before him and that Garin before Graham.  

I realize, that in the scheme of things, it could be worse. Some people have lost loved ones. Many kids won't be able to attend their graduations, proms, or other important milestones. We are not alone in our sadness and sense of loss. 

All I have wanted for 7 weeks was to get back to that project. It never occurred to me how bittersweet it would make me feel. 

Miles on board with the photo project for a short while.

Catherine taking over for Miles.

Garin with Baby Graham on the day of Garin's preschool graduation.

Miles all ready to head off to his first day of preschool. He had just turned two.

Miles following the kids in to St. Bernadine's.

Miles on his first day with Miss Debbie, who would care for him every morning for the 3 years he was there.

Graham, with Catherine on the day of their preschool graduation from St. Bernadine's.

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