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  • Jana

You did it! We did it! He did it! They did it!

Today Mom, you can finally rest in peace. And I mean really rest in peace. Although I don't imagine you are exactly resting, learning of this wonderful news. You and RBG are doing not just one victory lap, no doubt, but running an entire marathon, arm-in-arm, at this wonderful news.


You both kept us in a bit more suspense this week than any of us really anticipated, but we'll forgive you. As the adage goes, all's well that ends well. This has certainly ended well. It couldn't have ended any better.


People are out in the streets celebrating and dancing, overjoyed with the good news of the election of Vice President Biden. I just wish you were here to witness this moment in history. I have never seen anything like it in my lifetime. You would have been ecstatic.


Since your passing, just two months ago, there have been so many moments, both big and small. that I wanted to share with you. One was when Catherine decided to cut her hair short (she looks so adorable) and has much the same cut you had. She wears all your headbands every day (I gave them to her after your passing) and they look so chic with her new short cut.


Then there was the big Dodger win at the World Series last week, but I suspect you were there for that. It was a long-awaited and fantastic win for LA and all the dedicated Dodger fans, of which you were certainly one.


On Monday, Miles will be starting back at school. The minute I found out, I wanted to share that with you too. He will only be going a few hours a day, but it's still a big step, in the middle of a pandemic. He will be starting his first official day of kindergarten, not in August or September, but in November. There will only be six kids in his pod and he'll have to wear his mask the entire time he is there. He won't be able to do all the things at school that normal kindergarteners get to do, but he gets to go school in person, and in 2020 it is all about little victories (and some pretty huge ones too).


As much as I wish you could be here for this news today, I understand that you could not. For you to leave this soon before the election, something that meant so much to you, told me that you had to leave. As much as I am at peace with that, I can't help feeling sad today that you are not here to see something that meant so much to you.


But given that you could not be here I take stock in how much comfort this outcome will give you, especially having to leave the children and me behind. We were the most important thing in the world to you, and I think having this outcome today will bring you a measure of peace that you left us in good hands and protected, both things that you always tried to do for us when you were here.


I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to pick up the phone since Tuesday, Election Day, to call you. I wanted to share what was going on with you. I wanted to share my anxiety, my hopes, and my fears. But I could not. Today, I just wanted to pick up the phone and share my joy with you. Mostly, I wanted to hear your joy.


It is at moments like this that our faith is tested. I have to believe that wherever you are, you know about and are celebrating this wonderful news. To believe anything less would leave me feeling so much pain and emptiness.


I miss you so much today. There are going to be so many more days and moments like this ahead - moments and events that I want desperately to share with you. But we will find our way. My faith in your ongoing presence will deepen and hopefully, from time-to-time, if it's not too much to ask, you can remind me that you are here.


Here's to you Mom and here's to the beginning of a better time for all of us - something that you believed would and could happen.



The kids reacting to the. incredible news this morning!

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